Now before all my friends start freaking out, first and foremost, I am ok. As previously stated, the purpose of this site is for me to journal my thoughts and help me muddle through the material inside my head. Days are going be a mixture of good and bad existences, and acknowledging and dealing with them is an everyday educational occurrence.
Newly separated from my gf, and along with purchasing a house, my stress and anxiety have reached unprecedented levels. I had gone several days without taking Ambien and Trazadone due to side effects and adverse reactions (Anyone who has taken Ambien will understand).
Powerless to sleep, I ate a quarter of an edible 2.5mg (Marijuana gummy, legal here in Colorado), drank a vodka cranberry, 10mg Ambien, and 100mg Trazadone. Within 30 minutes, I was ultimately able to fall asleep. Nonetheless, in between that time, I ate a pint of ice cream, plate of crackers with vegan cheese topped with tomatoes and avocados, and drank a chai latte. After that, I don’t remember much except for falling asleep and waking up to a sink full of dishes and a couple hundred new Facebook friends from Mexico and Africa (don’t ask, LOL).
The interesting matter about Ambien is that it effects people inversely. I like to call it an Ambien trance. Strange things have occurred to me while on Ambien. For example, I have text friends some interesting things that I have no recollection. Next, almost severed my finger (woke up with my finger wrapped in paper towel secured with packing tape). There are more events that I can’t seem to recollect now, but you get the point.
I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that we all have our struggles. People are hurried to evaluate affairs they don’t comprehend. We all have issues, but some of us, like me, have the full subscription. I have good days and bad days. Some days I just want to be left alone and stay indoors. I don’t answer the phone or texts and just shut down. There are some who won’t understand and others who will totally get it. So, if you are one of my friends and reading this, don’t take it personally, I just need my alone time.
Today was a good day.